My ADHD

In mid-May 2026 I received a formal ADHD diagnosis. I believe it’s probably mixed with autism but that’s another assessment for another day.

This page will be a place to share information about my experiences.

• Context
• Superpowers
• Helpful actions
• Books
• Symptoms and Experiences
• Diagnosis & Treatment

Context

I’ve struggled with “distraction” for years but also love the feeling of letting my mind “dolphin” from place to place, connecting disparate ideas to create new patterns, products, systems, services, music, art, ways of working, communities, and more.

Since around 2023, I’ve had a few colleagues, friends, and even family members suggest that I get myself checked out for ADHD. They suggested it might help me become more effective in my work and relationships so I started to investigate and I uncovered some common ADHD-like patterns in my own experience, often going back to childhood.

Beginning to struggle more with the negative aspects, I decided to learn more and pursue a formal diagnosis and explore different types of treatment including trying out the pharmacological option which I’ve begun in May 2026.

Superpowers

Before I go too deeply into the negative symptoms and experiences (and the useful mitigators I’ve discovered), it’s worthwhile to acknowledge some of the many superpowers that come with ADHD. Here are a few I see in myself.

• Boundless optimism, enthusiasm, and energy
• Ability to bounce back repeatedly to nearly any setback
• Hyperfocus, prolific output (when properly inspired & directed)
• Very high tolerance for change, uncertainty & disorder
• High ability to synthesise new ideas and understand complex concepts
• Able to quickly devise creative, practical solutions to seemingly intractable problems
• Ability to follow multiple tangents and diversions on a path without losing sight of the ultimate goal (even if those diversions sometimes take longer than we would like)
• High manual dexterity and quick physical reaction times (because I’m always dropping things)
• An appreciation for writing things down and creating useful structures for individuals and teams (because I’m so reliant on them myself to function)
• Ability to see and appreciate many different perspectives, angles, or aspects of any situation and different players involved
• Rapid deep empathy, sometimes becoming debilitating sympathy
• Ability to rapidly pursue several experimental paths in tandem until a clear “winner” is found
• Ability to connect and form relationships between disparate people and elements and see an emergent “big picture” that isn’t obvious to most people

Helpful actions

• Practice mindfulness
• Exercise (running, walking, cycling, sports, tai chi, yoga, dance)
• Spend time in nature
• Socialise
• Be part of a community
• Get physical contact
• Avoid sugar, caffeine, and alcohol
• Get plenty of sleep
• Journal, blog, write
• Make space to create things (music, art)
• Seek out and create rhythmic repetitive experiences (art, music, dance)
• Listen to music
  • Without words
  • Intense and repetitive for working
  • Calm, ambient new-age for resting

Books

• ADHD 2.0 - Recommended by a friend, does a great job of presenting the many “superpowers” of ADHD.
• Driven to Distraction - An earlier book by the same authors
• The ADHD Effect on Marriage - This one practically jumped off the shelf at a second hand bookshop. I wasn’t looking for it but it found me.

Symptoms & experiences

Here are a few of my symptoms and experiences in no particular order. More to come.

Forgetfulness

• Having extreme anxiety around forgetting events (paying bills, birthdays, anniversaries, meetings, calls, etc)
• Needing to write everything down
• Having to take notes constantly so I don’t forget things as soon as someone tells me them
• Forgetting them anyway
• People becoming upset when I forget what they said to me minutes before
• Setting reminders and alarms throughout the day to get me to do things
• Putting post-it notes everywhere

Time-blindness

• Always being late
• “Lying” about when I’ll do something

Distractability

• Being distracted by anything in my visual field
• Mrs. Trice my kindergarten teacher who said: “Peter is very easily distracted”
• Having to rigorously schedule things and make appointments for even routine tasks (e.g. doing laundry)
• Feeling a buzz when my schedule is back to back
• Feeling constantly driven, restlessly creative
• Daydreaming

Hyperfocus

• Finding hyperfocus in various hobbies and activities like computer programming, making music, writing, working
• Getting totally absorbed into a task when it has clear next steps and compelling outcomes
• Loving writing code (forces me to organise my thinking, and rewards me instantly when I do)
• Loving to improvise on the piano as a way to process and think and recenter (but hating to practice and learn other people’s music)
• Needing music to concentrate (especially ambient, dance, techno - nothing with words)
• Finding solace and structure in journaling

Impulsivity

• Speaking out of turn
• Completing people’s sentences to show them I’m listening
• Struggling to listen, understand, and remember when people are speaking to me
• Not capturing the emotional impact of people’s words
• No patience for slow bureaucratic processes
• Needing to limit my sugar and caffeine intake so I don’t get jittery

Planning & structure

• Planning requires lots of deliberate effort
• Terrible at making big decisions (I do it slowly with great anxiety and flip back and forth a lot until time runs out and pressure forces me into a decision)
  • Lots of anxiety around making the wrong decision, not trusting my gut or the evidence I’ve gathered
• Loving & relying heavily on the pomodoro technique
• Having to limit the things in my pocket (keys, wallet, phone, earbuds) to prevent anxiety
• Constantly underestimating how long anything will take and then being late
• Choosing to work on what I prefer to do rather than what I need to do
• Being really drawn to mindfulness (sometimes needing meditation like a drug)
• Needing time between things to decompress and switch gears
• Meetings & workshops running over if I don’t plan properly and practice
• Overwhelmed when asked to remember more than 3 things to do or buy
• Needing a lot of routine & structure to function at a basic level

Sleep

• Needing a lot of sleep, feeling unusually exhausted most of the time.
• Over-napping
• Not being able to sleep if I drink any caffeine or alcohol or sugar before bed
• Having to stop intense thinking several hours before bed so I can sleep
• Needing to shower before bed to sleep
• Dimming the lights hours before bedtime so I can sleep
• Listening to relaxing music before bed so I can sleep
• Needing quiet and unstructured time
• But becoming anxious with too much unstructured time
• Imagination as medicine
• Having to sleep with earplugs and an eye mask or I wake up repeatedly

Movement, touch, and connection

• Finding I focus better after regular exercise and time outside
• Pacing & walking when thinking about complex problems
• Loving walking aimlessly through cities
• When hiking or going on walks, wanting circular routes so I don’t have to retrace my steps
• Enjoying tai-chi, yoga, dancing, anything around free movement – but strongly disliking any structured “sport” type activity
• Craving physical touch
• Feeling lonely a lot of the time
• Struggling to read people’s emotions and reactions

Connection, Praise, criticism

• Need for connection
• Fears of negotiation & competition
• Deeply discouraged by even minor criticism even from people I hardly know
• Deeply motivated by even minor praise

Examples from real life

• Making my girlfriend late for work by not being ready
• Being late for everything
• Our family being the last to board our flight to the US
• Missing a flight when travelling alone
• More all-nighters in school than I can count
• The “homework hat” that my parents devised to help me get into the zone

Impact

• Previous to my diagnosis being angry and disappointed at myself for the above and feeling really sad.
• Angry fed-up spouse
• Also a lot of opportunity to learn and grow

Diagnosis & Treatment

TODO: expand this section and confirm dates.

After years of research and wondering, I finally asked my GP about my ADHD symptoms in early 2025. After a month or two I was placed on the national waiting list and sent a letter saying the average wait time was over 2 years.

I heard about the “Right-to-choose” pathway and got a referral from my GP. I selected a clinic near me (this turned out to be completely unnecessary since it was all done remotely). I asked my GP to send the referral there. I received a couple of emails inviting me to sign up for their “portal” and upload my own evidence & observations as well as a link I could send to my friends & family to provide their own observations about my behaviour in childhood and adulthood.

Then I waited to be contacted for an appointment. After months of waiting, I finally called them. They told me that funding had been paused and, with it, new appointments. They claimed they were just about to call me to set up an appointment.

Within 2 weeks I had a telephone appointment. I received no reminders but got a text message on the morning of the appointment with a video-conference link to use at the appropriate time. My clinician was very nice and spent about an hour speaking with me and reviewing the evidence I had submitted.

At the end, she said she agreed I probably had ADHD and told me I had 7 days to make up my mind about starting medication. If I didn’t agree to begin in this window, they would discharge me.

Then I heard nothing for several weeks. After I emailed them again another week went by and I received another text message with a PDF about the titration process, a report from the clinician which I’ll share here soon, and a code to take the any pharmacy to collect my prescription.

Drugs

In late May 2026, I collected two courses of extended release dexmethylphenidate hydrochloride from the chemist to start the “titration” process.

The first course is 18mg taken daily with a protein-rich breakfast every day for two weeks, then switching to a 36mg pill for another 6 weeks. Both medications are extended (12 hour) release formulations.

After three weeks you have a follow-up appointment to review results and potentially make adjustments to the formulation or dosages.

For the next two months you have two more check-in appointments with the titration specialist before they refer you back to your GP for ongoing management and topping up your prescription.

Effects and side-effects

In the first week, I haven’t experienced the kind of “magic” that some of my friends have described but here are some of the things I’ve noticed thus far.

Positives:

• Tasks are much “stickier”, once I start something I feel strongly compelled to finish it.
• Definitely less distracted, not spending as much time seeking “novelty” from different sources
• Much easier to get into a state of hyperfocus (about anything)
• Easier to say “no” to things being suggested/requested/insisted/invited by my own mind, the outside world, and other people

Negatives:

Less than a week in, with the 18mg pill I’m consistently experiencing the following side-effects, some more acutely than others:

Physical:

• Nearly constant low-grade headache
• Tired eyes (my wife noticed I wasn’t blinking)
• Slight to moderate dizziness
• Dry mouth / dehydration (needing a lot more water)
• Breathlessness
• Tightness in my chest
• Anxiety (especially when I’m hungry)
• Lack of appetite but noticing I’m hungry because I get anxious & dizzy (see below)
• Generally exhausted
• Gurgling stomach
• Constipation (including blood in my stool)

Emotional and psychological

• Difficulty relaxing during the day and before bed
• Difficulty falling and staying asleep
• Slightly more aggressive & less accommodating (lower tolerance for BS)
• Tough to describe but my creative work feels like it has less finesse & nuance, less subtlety.
• Mild anxiety
• Mania, jumpiness
• A feeling as if I’ve pulled an all-nighter every day
• Often hyperfocusing on things which are not important
• Struggling to pull myself out of incomplete tasks when I know I should stop

For example, last weekend I was compelled to work on a music project long after I should’ve stopped to make lunch for my family. Interestingly, this is a symptom of my untreated ADHD which seems much worse with the medication.

In many ways, the ADHD feels even more severe under the medication but may folks have told me to stick with it because the first few weeks are an adjustment.